Finding Memories

Yesterday, I began a “Winter” cleaning of my closet before I head to Madrid, Spain for 3 months. When I first moved in with my boyfriend, his apartment was a bare, bachelor’s pad. I flooded it with so many of my belongings and it’s only right for me to give him some more space since I will be abroad for 3 months. Not only that, I really need to get rid of so many clothes, and materials that make our small home, cluttered!!

I put on some bachata, and began to organize! As I was emptying a hamper that was filled with notebooks and textbooks from my first two years of college, I found journal entries, essays and assignments that I am so glad I kept! (Don’t worry, I got rid of a lot of it, so the goal of cleaning was accomplished lol)

Memories really do last on paper, I found a journal entry assignment from one of my education or writing courses dated, 17 October 2013.FullSizeRender-6 The assignment was to write about a memory for 15 minutes. We had to describe it and could not stop writing before the 15 minutes was up. It reads,

“I remember when I first moved to Brooklyn during the end of Summer 2010. Being born in Brooklyn, but growing up in Suffolk County, Long Island and then moving to Atlanta from the ages of 14-17 was such a huge transition. In reality, I was a suburbs girl. I lived in the suburbs from before I was a year old and until my last few months before turning 18. I bought the ticket in haste and decided to attend St. Johns University. However, I ended up not being able to go because the tuition was too expensive and it wasn’t worth it to me. 

Backtrack to when I was packing to move to NYC, I bought three large suit case. I remember staring at my room. ‘What should I bring?’ I thought. I remember one of the first things I packed was my high school diploma, I recall being so anxious to graduate high school. At the time, I was so happy to move forward unaware of what my future would look like. 

I sorted through piles and piles of clothes and miscellaneous items such as books, jewlrey, old homework assignments, shoes, DVDs. Packing was not fun, I also remember being frustrated because since I was flying each ‘maleta’ (suitcase) can only weigh 50 lb. It was so annoying! Eventually, I packed everything. I hugged my siblings tight and headed to the airport with my mom and best friend Crystal. 

I remember the drive to the Atlanta Hartsfield Jackson International Airport. It was a short drive, but it seemed like a long, slow drive. We pulled into the Delta terminal, I kissed my best friend’s cheek, hugged my Mom tight and stood with my luggage to check in. As my best friend and Mom drove off, I waved watching the wheels roll away from me.

It was a sunny, partially cloudy day. I didn’t feel sad, I was excited to leave Atlanta, start a life in New York. I did not know what to expect, I was not a country girl, but I certainly was not accustomed to the life in the city. I barely knew how to use public transportation 3 years ago!”

Well, now I have lived in NY for a bit over 5 years, my new cherished degree is my Bachelor’s and I can definitely say I am an expert in public transportation, ha! Thanks to google maps, I conquered the transit system. I have traveled to so many parts of Brooklyn and the city, that people who live here their entire life never even traveled. Quite odd, but it is the reality of some.

In all, I was just really happy that I recorded this memory, because I do not think I could retell this memory the same way, had I not had it written down. I thank that professor, and I thank myself for keeping my notebooks. I knew I would go through them one day and I finally began.

Keep your memories, keep a journal, written word is comforting, enchanting and rare in our modern world. It’s amazing how writing your thoughts will transform your future. 

xo.

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She

He told her “you’re the kind of girl you read about in books.”

But how could that be?

When she thought that that she did not have the looks

To be thought of as She

She thought herself more like a wildflower blown by the wind

With chaos in the universe

Living in a world with a wealth of sorrow

How could she have such a force?

Then she realized she was a girl far from shallow

Her depths deeper than the ocean floor

Maybe she was like the girl he read in books,

She was she, and she was sure

That she had the power to change the war…

He did not matter

He wasn’t as lovely as the words he spoke

In a world that seemed to be getting sadder

She had to fight, bring upon a light

Help all, climb higher and higher up the ladder

She was she, and that was all she could be.

 

Sunflower

A little seedling
Unexpected but in the soil
The ground feels your heart beating
Rain falls but you never foil
The rain starts dripping
The sun beams rays
Into a world full of turmoil

You still grow
You stretch as high as the sky
You reach for the glow
You stand strong
Like a tree
You’re yellow
You feel like you met a great fellow
You extend you’re petals
You feel you’re power

Because you’re a sunflower
Strong and like a tower

A flower of serene purity
Strength
You’re my Sunflower

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