This kind of beautiful…

Vivid visions of just me. 

Wrapping my arms around myself and encountering my own brilliance without the thoughts of your companionship trickling through. 

Your otherness typically feels so warm and compliments me so well, it’s almost as you follow the circuits of my mind. 

I can call and stay on the line…I don’t speak and you know exactly what to say. 

Although, you certainly don’t complete me, I am my own person, this I am certain. 

My own desires and thoughts flow through me a tad differently. It’s like I am a river and we connect when I enter your basin. 

Deep within, I know I don’t need you, but I want you to accompany me throughout some of my life. For now, I want you to be a part of my routine—to say the least. 

I want to be your sunshine, but it is if you are on a blinding, uneasy ride. This moment in time, you are lost and unsettled, I must let you climb. 

This is necessary, but who wants to be alone? I don’t think this world was made for us to always be in solitude.

Sometimes we need to meet and connect like the river and the sea–let’s be an estuary. 

Rich and free, I hope to meet you again and feel your warmth like my favorite tea. 

Or my favorite food, melting within my dark soul, enlightening my world. 

For now I’ll wait and worry less about others, meaning you. 

I’ll try to be this kind of beautiful…

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25 on the 25th 

On the 25th of this September, she embarks her journey on earth for her 25th year. 

Another year for success 

Another year for happy memories 

Another year for failure 

Another year of unhappy memories. 

The gift of continuing to live feels more like a burden to her tired eyes, to her broken heart and to her incomplete soul. 

Another year of accomplishments 

Another year of mistakes 

Another year of new relationships 

Another year of failed relationships.

Another year of knowing nothing can truly help her except dealing with what is dealt. 

Finally Being Heard?

It’s the pain of our modern world

It’s the reality of our broken history

The truth made invisible,

what we go through, you know,

“finally being heard.”

We don’t become relevant until our pain becomes their platform…

The appropriation, the killings, the villains were never us.

They cannot stand to see their reflection in a mirror,

too ready to pull a trigger.

One, Two and Three

Yesterday, the frozen city sparkled in gold, green, red and white. The holiday spirit crept through the avenues, blocks and streets. Alcohol seeped through the cracks, filling the air with a stale smell. Laughter and stupidity dripped from the people’s mouths. Broken carols off tune filled the air. One round, two rounds and three. Some people knew nothing of their whereabouts. Others dancing and moving to the sounds of the beat. Atop of rooftops, on top of bars, on dance floors waxed with beer, you saw their feet shuffle and their mouths slur. More alcohol was poured. My insides were glowing and beaming. 

*Delivered* flickered my screen. One message, two messages and three. Next thing you know, I was on the subway. Going up, up to your town. Up one stop, two and times four. Two hours before the clock hits midnight, I’m almost at your door. My heels stomp the pavement, the men whistle, toot and holler. Buzzzzzzzz, I went up one flight, two flights and three. You stood in the doorway, tall, glowing and tired. I giggled and brushed your cheek with a kiss. Your smile made my inside warm. 
I unbundled and sat next to you. We briefly shared our day and then turned to the tv. We glared at it, sometimes it watched us. Exhaustion overwhelmed our bodies. In a moments time we were in your room stretched out. I laid there vulnerable. The light flickered and you took over my soul. Our souls danced, intertwined, and whispered; just once tonight. 

Component

I don’t know if it is the hollow space in my soul being filled 

Or it is your genuine spirit lifting me 

I don’t know why I love it so much 

The way you wiggle into my space

It all happens in such haste

I still feel your touch when I leave 

And then, I return to your cave

I muster up the courage every time 

To let you back in my hollow space 

This temporary relief 

Leads me to mischief 

Is this merely us toying with emotions? 

I need to take a moment

To realize how much your aura 

Hasn’t left me broken 

What if you’re the right component? 

Or am I just being naive?

Too irrational to see?