This kind of beautiful…

Vivid visions of just me. 

Wrapping my arms around myself and encountering my own brilliance without the thoughts of your companionship trickling through. 

Your otherness typically feels so warm and compliments me so well, it’s almost as you follow the circuits of my mind. 

I can call and stay on the line…I don’t speak and you know exactly what to say. 

Although, you certainly don’t complete me, I am my own person, this I am certain. 

My own desires and thoughts flow through me a tad differently. It’s like I am a river and we connect when I enter your basin. 

Deep within, I know I don’t need you, but I want you to accompany me throughout some of my life. For now, I want you to be a part of my routine—to say the least. 

I want to be your sunshine, but it is if you are on a blinding, uneasy ride. This moment in time, you are lost and unsettled, I must let you climb. 

This is necessary, but who wants to be alone? I don’t think this world was made for us to always be in solitude.

Sometimes we need to meet and connect like the river and the sea–let’s be an estuary. 

Rich and free, I hope to meet you again and feel your warmth like my favorite tea. 

Or my favorite food, melting within my dark soul, enlightening my world. 

For now I’ll wait and worry less about others, meaning you. 

I’ll try to be this kind of beautiful…

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j.Chronicles continued

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“You don’t remember how we met?”

When you wrote me this, I sat there quite dumbfounded. Then you shared how we met, my mind went through the many virtual file cabinets. Well, there it was one of my clearest memories….Your face was hidden, but your inner spirit dragged me towards you. In that time period, my mind was trapped by a demonic, wicked spirit that made me bruise time and time again. Thank goodness your spirit recognizes my healing.

That day, when I first saw your shape, I did not realize who you were; it was like something took over me, whispering in my ear that we were supposed to converse. Although, we never spoke again until that Sunday started the week.

Almost a year had passed…

Monday/Tuesday

I opened my eyes to whiteness. More than a 1,000 miles from you, I laid in the midst, in a mist of whiteness: comforter, pillows, walls, everything around me was as if I was in billows of white, smoke. The sound of the ocean hit my walls and I did not move. As I woke up, I reached for my iPhone to see what the world looked like outside the clouds I lay in.

I opened the application, and then a notification popped up in the right hand corner. You wrote me back. The night before, you complimented my beauty or the sea’s, you were never specific. I replied, “Thank you, as is your art.”

I still had no idea who you were, I thought you were a literal stranger… You invited me for coffee or drinks when I returned from my vacation, but I did not know your name. So I sat there pensively and then, eventually our conversation deepened. You started to reveal yourself to me. Those first replies, were not me, but my spirit again and again. Something took over me and whispered a sweet song to determine who you were. Your spirit whispered, “remember me?”

I did, vividly.

Tuesday night

Shortly after, my plane landed and my body appeared in your car. All of sudden, my physical body listened to your melodic voice. You spoke softly, you smiled secretly. We ate dinner, as if we always knew one another. We conversed that night until the shadows crept beneath us.

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You came, not in the literal sense but arrived. There was no turning back from this night. Margherita filled us and the NYC lights enchanted us. We shared pieces of our journeys and let our tongues become a vein that carried our spirit of gold. You were sold, for you invited me the night. I crept in your space, observing each inch of you. That night was timeless, I fell asleep in your arms and then woke up in your mist. Another, white comforter. My eyes wide and very aware of who laid next to me. I snuck off, your body awake and mind asleep. I made my way out of your creative lair.

When you awoke– you lettered, “Was last night a dream?”

It wasn’t.

sábado 

Sleepless, mindless, I fell into your bed again. I felt every piece of you touch my inner soul. Your voice comforted me, your touch calmed me, your spirit welcomed me.

lunes 

You’re a creator, a solver, a builder. Your affection is one–for it almost has me won over. I didn’t realize I had anything for you, but whatever I have I want it connected to your spirit.

I want to hear your beat and play you in my mind over and over again until the spirit drags me far away.

If you didn’t know, now you know that…baby you found me in the clouds.

 

 

Dear Readers

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(Photo Above) If you all could see my small studio apartment, this is basically what it looks like .

Some of you lovely people have asked me why haven’t I blogged about my last weeks in Spain!? Here’s an update on my beautiful, busy life.

Well, I am back in the US and have been flooded with work. I am in the process of getting certified as a NYS Teacher so that I can teach in a dual language NYC public school classroom. I am also in the process of sending out my cover letter and resume!

I am working full time as a 5th grade permanent substitute teacher, the school year ends June 28th.

I visited my amazing mother and family in Atlanta, GA to support my two younger siblings who graduated High School this year!!

I myself will have my commencement, June 2nd, 2016 to celebrate earning a B.A. in Elementary Education with a Bilingual Extension. 😀 HIP HIP HOORAY!! 

Lastly, I teach an enrichment class on the weekend, to middle school scholars of color, to enhance their readiness for the verbal part of SHSAT.

I have been SWAMPED since my return mid April, but I promise to publish my last weeks in Spain and my last two trips to 5 cities in Morocco and the beautiful Sevilla, Spain by the end of June/ first week of July (I wrote little notes in my journal to better reflect on those last weeks rather than just blog it)!

I have been so overwhelmed, but grateful for my opportunities! To all my other bloggers working hard, don’t stop, we got this!!

Nia – (Purpose)

This fifth night we lit a candle of hope for, Nia. 

With so much in this world, directly and indirectly affecting us and humanity as a whole, it is vital we understand our purpose. 

“When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.

When they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.

When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out;
I was not a trade unionist.

When they came for the Jews,
I remained silent;
I wasn’t a Jew.

When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out.” – Martin Niemöller

My purpose is to SPEAK OUT when I see wrong. For if I do not speak for my brothers and sisters, my children, I am left alone and become equal to no one. I firmly stand for together we can because eventually the people in power, who are continually abusing their power, will be abolished. As the poem and history show, the word evolution, is a bit exaggerated.

Even so, I must have hope for this… My purpose to make a difference in as many lives as possible. This is why I am an educator. Especially, for those future students of mine who are in desperate need of a guiding hand. My purpose is not only to teach inside the class, but make their world, their classroom where they can grow and learn to battle the many obstacles we face in this world.

What is your purpose?

Ujima

The third principle is, Ujima : Collective work and responsibility, “To build and maintain our community together and to make our brother’s and sister’s, our problems and to solve them together.”

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As you can see we added to our fruits of the harvest, another mango, more bananas and an avocado. No particular reason, we  just thought as the new year is coming we must give thanks for our good fortunes and health, by adding more fruit. I learned today what to do with our unity cup or KIKOMBE CHA UMOJA. At the beginning of the Kwanzaa celebration we pour the unity cup into the earth or an earth-filled vessel. While pouring, the elder of the family makes a statement honoring departed family members for the inspiration and values they have left with descendants. Friends are also remembered.

I am looking forward to incorporating this into our daily ceremony, we have also decided to our lighting ceremony before we eat dinner each day, tradition in the making…

Today was a beautiful day of reflection on our collective work and responsibility. Ujima is based on a fundamental assumption that African is not just an identity but also a destiny and duty. We are collectively responsible for our failures and setbacks as well as our victories and achievements.  To do this task successfully requires us to partake in self-criticism and self-correction.

We reflected we discussed personal collective work in our families and how we can help others make their problems ours. We realized this past year we have certainly taken part in this and we reflected on our past and current actions. We believe that we can help by sharing the principals and the celebration with my boyfriend’s family. As I type this blog, my boyfriend is sharing with his Pops the past three days and all that we have learned about our new adoption of Kwanzaa. We love how it is an embodiment of how we should live our lives daily. Reflecting on our responsibility to the community as young adults allowed me personally to think about what I am doing with EACH action I take. If they are helping only myself, or all those around me, my future students and all those that I will encounter on my journey…until tomorrow bloggers.

Habari gani?

Ujima ¤

Kujichagulia (Self-Determination)-Our 2nd day of Kwanzaa!

Habari gani bloggers?! 

Now you say–Kujichaguila! 

Today’s principle is self determination or the Swahili word, “Kujichagula,” which reminds us to define ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves, and speak for ourselves.

We went to the American Museum of Natural History for the Kwanzaa celebration and we were able to hear Doug E Fresh speak to a large audience about the 7 principles of Kwanzaa. The highlight of our afternoon was watching the award-winning filmmaker MK Asante introduce his movie The Black Candle: A Kwanzaa Celebration. 

After the heart touching, enlightening and inspiring film, MK Asante followed it with a musical tribute to the film’s narrator, Dr. Maya Angelou. In the film we learned about some history behind Kwanzaa, how Kwanzaa made families and neighbors even stronger during Hurricane Katrina and how many are not even aware of what Kwanzaa is and why we should celebrate it. As Black people, we deserve to celebrate ourselves, our struggle and strength. I loved learning that people all over the world including Africa celebrate Kwanzaa, even though it was created in the USA. I highly recommend that you watch his film, if you have not already!

Below is part of his musical tribute, with the feature of Dr. Maya Angelou.

Visiting the museum’s Kwanzaa celebration was really exciting for my boyfriend and I, when we left, he stated, “I definitely want to celebrate it every year and share it with more people.” I agreed and felt super content that I decided to bring it to our home.

At the end of the show, MK Asante was signing books and movies, so we decided to also purchase his book It’s Bigger Than Hip Hop, that he teaches in his class at Morgan State University. We are really looking forward to reading it and I will eventually write a book review of it here.

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The great experience really left us thinking about how we can become stronger activists and better people for ourselves and world around us. Tonight, we lit the red candle to the far left and discussed self determination. We made goals for the new year and reflected on this past year, with our kujichaguila in mind. Kujichaguila is so important for us because many have tried to erase our history, rewrite our past or simply leave out our being. We are here to unite, connect, reconstruct and write the stories of our futures. We are a strong people who will not let our oppressors leave us invisible, we will conquer and deconstruct the many deficit views that have been internalized by many including ourselves. Yes we can self-oppress, but we must be determined to love ourselves and make our communities. Like Dr. Angelou stated, we must come out of the shadows of irrational prejudice, we owe no racial debt to history, we are the best, we are all we have…

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#HappyKwanzaa!

**We also discussed how next year we are definitely getting our wooden Kinara yay, and a wooden unity cup 🙂